The Itchy and Scratchy Show

[BGmusic: You Belong To Me by Ella Fitzgerald]

Quote for the Day:

It’s Guy Fawkes day!

Remember, remember the Fifth of November,
The Gunpowder Treason and Plot,
I know of no reason
Why Gunpowder Treason
Should ever be forgot.
Guy Fawkes, Guy Fawkes, t’was his intent
To blow up King and Parli’ment.
Three-score barrels of powder below
To prove old England’s overthrow;
By God’s providence he was catch’d
With a dark lantern and burning match.
Holloa boys, holloa boys, let the bells ring.
Holloa boys, holloa boys, God save the King!

I’m allergic to a lot of things.

I don’t usually pay attention to my allergies. Because I rarely react.

However, because of recent overexposure to tomatoes [one of my many allergens; I've been eating a lot of pasta lately], I’ve become especially sensitive, and my face has been breaking out in rashes for… two weeks now. So if you’ve been wondering why my skin’s all gross and flaking, no it’s not vitamin C deficiency, those are the manifestations of my wonderful, wonderful allergies.

Anyway, in my house we drink apple juice and orange juice. Not the powdered kind, but the squeezed and crushed kind. One day, my mother remembered that I might be allergic to oranges. Or was it apples? I thought it was apples.

Okay, not really deadly, I do tend to exaggerate sometimes.

I wasn’t sure which I was allergic to, and I didn’t want to aggravate my allergies so I’ve been living on water for a while.

But I am not a water drinker; water is sooo boring! I wanted FLAVOR! I wanted SUGAAAAR! HULK MUST HAVE SUGARRRR! So, awhile ago I dug through my mother’s files, looking for my medical file, and [hurrah!] I found it! My allergy test from way back when/2002!

These are my food allergens in alphabetical order [the asterisk (*) means I don't know what the heck it is]:

• Alumahan*
• Bananas
• Bangus
• Bisugo*
• Carrots
• Cauliflower
• Cantaloupe
• Chicken
• Chocolate [!]
• Coconut
• Coffee [!!!!!!!!!! WHAT?! I DIDN'T KNOW THAT!!]
• Dilis
• Egg White
• Galunggong
• Labahita*
• Lettuce [?! I still don't understand how anyone could be allergic to lettuce.]
• Mushroom
• Peanuts
• Pineapple
• Shellfish
• Shrimp
• Spinach
• Squid
• Strawberries [ ]
• Tahong
• Tanigue
• Tilapia
• Tomatoes [(T_T) - take note that tomatoes are my favorite vegetables... although they're technically fruits. Whatever.]
• Watermelon [aw.]

Ladies and gentlemen, I am not allergic to apples or oranges, so I can drink all the juice I want. But coffee? I knew about chocolate, but… coffee?!

Thank goodness these tests are only 30% accurate, and there’s a 70% chance that I won’t react. WOOHOO. I shall keep on consuming a few of these allergens [coffee!], as I have been doing for the past five years. Bahala na si Batman.

But wait, there’s more! These are my aeroallergens [stuff that make my nose run], not in alphabetical order, but with pictures:

1. Amaranthus spinosus (PIGWEED, spiny)
2. Chrysopogon aciculatus (AMORSECO)
3. Cynodon dactylon (BERMUDA GRASS)
4. Cyperus rotundus (MUTHA)
5. Feathers
6. Ceiba pentandra (KAPOK SEED) [these float around UP during the summer - no wonder I was always sneezing]

Good news! I’m not allergic to cats, like I thought! Woohoo!

Moral of the story: Do not let pregnant women live on a diet of chicken, chicken, and chicken [which is highly allergenic]. My mom did, and look what happened to me.

*wallowing in self-pity*Boohoo. Boohoo. Boohoo.

Okay, no point to this post. Sorreh.