The end where I begin

[BGmusic: Tell Me by Catfish Haven]

Quote for the day:

“Umibig ka lang at mabigo.”

- how to lose weight, according to Kuya Dwight

Yes, I know I’ve been gone an awfully long time.  I’m a disgrace to the blogworld, but let’s not go into that now, because I’m tired of apologizing to my blog.  Cause it’s creepy.

The reason why I’m able to blog again after so long is because classes are over for this semester, so I have a little more freedom to do what I want. AND I WANNA BLOG! Still have some deadlines and an exam coming up, but we don’t want to talk about them, now, do we?

Now, I just wanna think out loud. Expect incoherence. So be afraid.  Be very afraid.

Thinking begins… now.

I must say that when I think of how left behind I am compared to my peers, the whole “growing up” thing has been unfair to me. [Now, please, save your spittle and don't tell me that growing up is overrated because as long as it's not overdone, it's not.  This world is no Neverland yet it has more than enough of its share of Peter Pans, if you catch my drift.]

It’s like the grown-up train came and went without my notice so everyone but me has hopped on.  And everyone else has got their act together, and that’s great, considering we only have one semester left in university [ack].  They all know what kind of jobs they want after graduation, some of them even know exactly where they want to work, and here I am, still frustrated that econ wasn’t as interesting as I thought it would be.

But everyone has their issues [if you have none, let's talk because I've never met one of you guys before], and that’s mine: I am the girl who can’t/won’t grow up.  [At the moment.  Hope this condition isn't permanent.]

Funny thing is, not too long ago a friend of mine told me that I was lucky because I seemed to know exactly what I was doing.  That rendered me ispitsless, I tell you.  To think that someone could actually look at me and see me as a girl with direction is encouraging, but pretty ridiculous.

I guess a lot of us look like we’ve got everything under control on the outside.  Sure, some are more willing to show their brokenness to the world [hello, members of the emo populace!], but even the most cheerful of us are/have been broken up in some way or another. To quote the pop song, we’re all “breakable, breakable, breakable girls and boys.”  We may try to fix brokenness by turning to – I dunno – girls/boys, television, acads, your blog[!], and for a while these things may appear to hold you together, but eventually, everything falls apart again, and it’s a mess, and you end up more broken up than you were before.

Most of you are probably familiar with the parable of the man who built his house on the sand vs. the man who built his house on the rock. To those of you who aren’t, to make the short story shorter, a huge storm came and the house built on sand got swept away, but the house that had its foundations set on rock stayed intact.  Now, note that it wasn’t the house, but the ground it was built on that held it together.

Maybe we should stop leaning on girls/boys, television, acads, blogs[!], friends, etc., and – you know – start leaning on something sturdy. A Rock.

Before I riddle this post with even more metaphors, I’ll end this madness with a question:

What holds you together?

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